FEBRUARY 1, 2011 ~ Tony Robbins

It’s the first of February so I’m starting this month off correctly, with a new gratitude blog.  I was contacted by Steven, my assigned Tony Robbins representative earlier today; he asked if I would consider writing a testimonial about my experience with Tony.  I told him I would be honored.  I was planning on writing a piece about Tony in the near future anyway so here goes!
How has Tony Robbins influenced my life for the better... What a question?  Where do I even begin?  I’ll start by going back three months to November 2010 when I attended his seminar, ‘Unleash The Power Within.’  I had no idea what to expect, as my knowledge of Tony Robbins was pretty much limited to ‘Oh yeah, that guy who put a hex on Jack Black in Shallow Hal.’
When I arrived on the scene of UPW I was totally taken aback by the spectacle of it all.  It was a like a rock concert at 8 o’clock in the morning.  People yipping, hollering, dancing like fiends... I’m thinking “What the hell am I doing here?  This is fuckin’ NOT for me...”  But since my mother was there, (she wasn’t sitting with me, of course... she was up front with the VIP’s and stuck me back with the herd) and I knew she was going to ask for a full report, skipping out really wasn’t an option.
When I really began to listen to what Tony had to say it became so clear; how much life really comes down to our perspective, which inform our priorities, and in turn inform our choices.  As a result of that seminar, specifically his pain/pleasure association exercise, I made the decision to quit drinking.  Now, I would be lying if I said I haven’t slipped up here and there... but by comparison to where I was?  I did a total 180.
I was so unbelievably fascinated by what I was learning that I decided to take the process a step further and go out to California for ‘Date with Destiny.’  That’s where the breakthroughs started happening...
One thing Tony talked at length about at DWD is this idea that we create meaning around events in our lives and then we use the story of what happened to us as justification for why our lives are unfulfilling.  That, by the way, is a severely simplified version of what he actually says, but I’m not here to paraphrase- if you want more eloquence on the subject, go to the source.  Anyway, I began looking at certain behaviors of mine and wondering how on earth it came to be that I got this way.
I’m a pretty smart girl and I have great ideas, but I’ve never been much of a follower-througher (I know that’s not really a word, just go with it).  I tend to get really excited about the prospect of doing something and then when it isn’t as easy as I anticipated I just sort of give up.  I’ve heard the sayings “If it was easy anyone could do it,” or “Anything worth doing is worth working for...” I understood it on a cognitive level, but clearly I wasn’t getting it on a personal level because I was still falling victim over and over again to these tendencies.  According to Tony’s theory, there was a high likelihood that I somewhere in the past some event occurred around which I created some story starring me as the wronged one and I’ve been using that story (the story I made up) as incontestable evidence that I’m doing the best I can given the resources I have when, in fact, I’m not doing crap.  Here’s what I came up with...
Sports, in particular team sports, have never been my thing.  When I was a kid I was small, slow, uncoordinated, and most importantly, uninterested.  Because kids are fucking mean, I got made fun of for this.  In an effort to make me feel better, my mother used to tell me it was okay that I wasn’t good at sports because I’m little.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see where she was coming from; obviously, she was trying to be a good mom.  If that woman had had any idea how such a minor, not to mention well-intentioned comment was going to screw me up, she would probably have handed over her reproductive rights then and there... because the moment it became okay for me to ‘suck’ at something, it became okay for me to suck period.  Is it really okay?  Would my mother tell me today that it’s okay for me to fail?  Was I really sitting there, a 26-year-old woman: chronically single, financially dependent, and drunk 7 out of 7 nights a week because my mother said I could?  Of course not!  But that didn’t stop me from using it an excuse.  Pretty crazy, huh?  I actually allowed something as simple and harmless as that to be the reason why I’m where I am in life as opposed to where I want to be... but at least I'm not alone.  It's something we all do.
So what’s the next step once you know?  Well, since coming to this realization, I’ve actually made the shift from unconsciously blaming my failures on my momma, to taking full responsibility for my own actions.  And believe me, when you’ve got no one to blame for your shortcomings, you’re gonna be a lot more proactive about turning them around.
This story is just ONE example out of many breakthroughs I had over the course of my time working with Tony and his incredible staff.  If I had unlimited time to ramble I would cite a hundred more examples and anecdotes and knowing me, this is just part one of a whole manifesto on the influence of Tony Robbins in my life.  The guy has some quality stuff to say, and if you’re not an idiot- you’ll listen.
People ask me all the time (with a twinge of sarcasm, of course) “So, did Tony Robbins really change your life?”  I know they’re making fun of me- and I’m not offended.  It’s a sad reality that people just don’t know what to make of a guy like him... a guy who has so much and seems so happy.  I mean, with the exception of the teeth which are fearsomely large, he’s pretty much perfect, right?  So what’s he hiding?  Nothing.  He’s a real person with real flaws and challenges but he uses his mistakes to teach others instead of trying to cover them up.  There’s no ego with him; just heart.  He is so wonderfully human that literally anyone can relate to him.  People can’t get enough of that energy and are more than happy to throw money his way because of the value he adds to their lives.  And that makes a lot of people jealous as hell.
Humanity’s general take on success is truly one of the greatest hypocrisies in life.  We tell ourselves all the time, ‘As you so, so shall you reap’ or ‘Do right by people and they’ll do right by you...’ but these words don’t mean anything to us, not really.  These are the pillars by which we say live, but when was the last time you saw someone doing better than you and thought ‘Wow, he/she must be really hardworking and have a good heart to deserve all this greatness?’  I work in the entertainment industry.  Every day I’m surrounded by people who pride themselves on the fact that they chose art and love over the soullessness and greed with which they associate corporate America.  Yet is another’s success in this community ever met with anything other than “What?  That hack!?  Who’s dick did she suck? (or he suck).”  It’s almost enough to make you want to stay ordinary your whole life just so you don’t have to hear that shit.
A friend of mine told me he couldn’t take the work Mr. Robbins does seriously because he “prey’s on people’s insecurities for a living.”  My response was something along the lines of “Wow, ‘prey’ that’s a loaded word if ever I’ve heard one.”  He furthered his point by saying ‘If there was no such thing as low self-esteem there would be no need for a guy like Tony Robbins.’  Well, friend-of-mine-who-shan’t-be-named, if there was no such thing as genital herpes there would be no Valtrex.  Are the actors who feed their children by means of royalties from those oh-so-inspiring commercials with couples riding bikes through a meadow, crotches no longer aflame with burning pustules ‘preying’ on the plight of anyone dumb enough to pick up herpes?  Or... are they simply identifying a need and providing a service for it... (Personally, I’d rather feed my kids cheap MacDonalds food every day and let them grow obese than ever put my face on a herpes add; as far as I’m concerned those people are martyrs!)  Anyway, my point is this: Would the world be a better place if we didn’t need Valtrex?  Of course!  But it’s not a better place, and we do need Valtrex.  And Insecurity DOES exist, and we DO need Tony Robbins.
I realize that I just compared Tony Robbins to Valtrex, and I believe my point was made; but before signing off I want to take the analogy just a step further, because when talking in terms of what he does for people’s lives, Tony isn’t Valtrex.  He’s not a pill you pop to temporarily stifle your symptoms.  He’s more like the condom that keeps you from catching that shit in the first place..  Does he change lives?  Well, yes and no.  Can a condom save your life?  Sure it can, but not if you don’t put it on.  Tony’s work in and of itself can’t save anyone.  But if you really take in what he has to say and apply in to your life you will find problems and challenges, but nothing you can’t handle; nothing you can’t overcome.  Yup, I said it... Tony Robbins is to people everywhere what a magnum, lubricated, ribbed-for-her-pleasure condom is for STD’s.