January 2, 2011. I’m getting an earlier start this morning, it’s 10:11AM and I’m officially up for the day. I was shooting for 9, but this isn’t so bad. Better than yesterday, for sure. New Years Day, was a bit of a lazy day for me.
I lounged around the house, ordered in sushi, worked on my goal chart, wrote that fabulous blog from yesterday, that kinda stuff. Toward the end of the night I was beginning to feel a little bit mopey so I called my friend Daniel, who I’ve decided to make the object of my gratitude today.
Daniel Siegel, who pretty much everyone except me and his mother refer to as “Danny..” (I refuse, he is soooo not a Danny), lives in New York and does stand-up comedy. He’s funny too, if you visitwww.dannyisfunny.com you can see what I’m talking about. But this isn’t about him as a comedian; it’s about who he is to me.
I first came into contact with Daniel at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in the summer of 1998. I was not even in high school yet, was at least 3 or 4 years younger than everyone else in the program, and oh yeah… I sucked at acting. I did not, however, suck at swing dancing, a skill I picked up at the academy and still boast of to this day. My most important accomplishment that summer, however, is the connection I established with this tall, handsome, floppy-haired 19-year-old that has impacted my life in ways I could never have imagined.
I think it’s safe to say that Daniel got me through my adolescence. I was an awkward, miserable teenager… what other kind of teenager is there, right? Of course I know that now, but at the time it certainly felt like it was just me. Though I was always surrounded by “friends” I felt totally isolated, like a freak of nature who no one liked. That was time, praise Jesus, that this magical figure came into my life. Any time my world came crashing down (and in 9th grade that happens a lot) Daniel was my go-to guy. He could handle literally anything; whether there was a crisis that needed solving or I just wanted to talk. And it’s not like he didn’t have a life of his own, either. He had returned to florida after that summer and was working at a restaurant called the Screaming Coyote to save money for his eventual move to NY. I remember this because I used to call him there with my personal emergencies all the time. And I mean ALL the time. I can’t believe he never got fired! Sometimes we’d even do this completely stupid thing where’d we act scenes from Dirty Dancing over the phone. Daniel would channel his inner Patrick Swayze and of course I was flawless as Jennifer Grey. It really didn’t matter what our conversations were about… 10 minutes on the phone with him was the difference between a horrible day and a great day.
I was 17 before I ever kissed a guy. I’m aware that’s on the old side- but as I said, I was awkward, boys didn’t like me, etc. My BFF at the time, Jessica, got some guy I didn’t know who was friends with her date to ask me to the prom so we could all go together. This is how I met Joe, (Joe and I are friends today, so I’m sure he won’t mind if I share this story). Anyway, being the somewhat immature, incredibly insecure girl that I was, it honest to god did not occur to me that this guy would expect a kiss (if not something more) at the end of the night. I really believed that he’s asked me only as a courtesy to Jess, and couldn’t possibly have any interest beyond that.
The prom was pretty standard, it was the “after party,” which was really more like 20 kids sitting around on beer-stained couches in some kid name Brad’s basement, where things got crazy. There was me, awkwardly holding a bottle Mikes Hard Lemonade, praying that nobody saw as I faked taking sips and then poured it out into the plant to make the level go down. And there was Joe, in all his after prom glory, drunk as a pirate, and looking a little like one too. If I remember correctly, he was still wearing the top half of his tux, including the cummerbund; what happened to his pants, though, was a mystery. He sat down on the couch beside me and began whispering in my ear something like “You’re so sexy, I love you.” and then wham! In for the kiss! GROSS! The part I remember most about this moment was the confusion over where to position my eyes. I couldn’t look at him; I couldn’t look at anyone else; I certainly couldn’t look down, because all I would see was his erect penis popping out through the fly of his bleach-stained, plaid boxer shorts… talk about a shock. So I did what any mature 17-year-old would do. I ran upstairs, called my mom, and I told her she needed to pick me up. I told her what happened in the car… and get this- she couldn’t for the life of her understand why I was so upset! Are you kidding me??? I didn’t watch The Sound of Music 19,000 times so my first kiss could take place on some nasty-ass couch in front of a bunch of drunk hooligans!! It was supposed to be a perfect moonlit evening in a gazebo by the lake… in Austria.
At this point in the story, I’m sure you’re wondering what on earth this has to do with Daniel. I’m getting to that… Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, so I flew up the stairs in an absolute fury; Angry, upset, my whole life RUINED. I realize of course, that this is absurd, but you have to understand I had built up this moment so huge in my head. It was supposed to be this grand, epic milestone and it was taken from me just like that. I couldn’t dial the numbers fast enough. He answered, and I bawled out what happened to me, including the part about the gazebo… to which he responded, “Yeah but, didn’t that guy turn out to be a nazi?” Good point, right? What he said after that was so brilliant it has stuck with me to this day. He said, “That’s so funny, when I was 17 it was my dream to drunkenly kiss a girl I barely knew on some scummy couch… Why don’t you just pretend you’re me, and then you can be psyched about this!” Obviously, he was joking about that being his dream. He said it to make a point. He was trying to show me that with a little change in my perspective, I didn’t have to be sad anymore.
Fact is, in the grand scheme of things, events in and of themselves are neither here nor there… but what meaning we attach to it that can either propel us into happiness or screw us up for life. Of course he didn’t put it into terms like that, Many years as well as a couple of Tony Robbins seminars would pass before I even could. But wether he knew it or not, Daniel was always a master at applying that principle. Even when it looks like things aren’t going the best for him, he finds a way to see how in reality, they are. This is probably why people are so drawn to him. You simply can’t help but like the guy… he’s fucking amazing.
This is just one story out of hundreds of millions. I cannot possibly count the days that he’s made better or disasters he’s turned into laughs for me but I can say this:
Daniel, it’s an honor to have you in my life. You are as much my hero today as you were the day we met. Thanks for everything, Bro. I love you.
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